I didn't expect it to be May already.

So right now i haven't accomplished anything valuable at all, I am unemployed, I am not studying anything, I don't know why am I like this when in the past, when I used to be a teenager, I remember that I was a very brilliant person who loved to spend hours learning, studying and acquiring new abilities. I guess that kid is now dead, as all I am now is just the memory of she person I once was.

anyway, I know I will eventually get better, I just need to get a grip and stop wasting my time. at least i have my girlfried on my side, and she does not seem to abandon me any soon (but man i need to find a job and get good).

Life is good overall, I just feel like i've been getting dumber and dumber the less I read and the less I do, it feels like I'm having an intellectual regression so bad I get mad when I don't understand something because it's just mentally so tiring. I need to find help, I feel this is actually something related to the fact that my adhd has almost never been treated ;-;

Maybe all I need is a little bit more of time, It's just not possible that I just waste that much time and don't learn anything from it, this shouldn't be for nothing I want to believe. I will jump back on to music as I have always done and everything will be alright.